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Artifacts

by Eric Beeny

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about

A selection of remnants from a lost quarter-life, experiments in genre; half-sincere, half-pastiche, half-parody.

Music and lyrics by Eric Beeny.

Produced by Sterling Smalley and Eric Beeny. Recorded on and off between 2006 and 2010, maybe.

All electric, acoustic and bass guitars by Eric Beeny. Keyboards by Eric Beeny. Additional keys on 4 by Sterling Smalley. Drums by Sterling Smalley, except on 1 and 2 by Eric Beeny. Manual keyboard drums/percussion on 6 by Eric Beeny.

Some songs on this album could not be finished, others could not be found; many vocals takes are merely scratch tracks by a rather awful singer. All vocals by Eric Beeny.

Cover image by Carrie LaMacchia.

credits

released May 17, 2010

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license

all rights reserved

about

Eric Beeny Buffalo, New York

Glass, the Wall's Ghost is the main musical project of Eric Beeny. His side projects include The Immortals Act Their Age (ambient, drone), Failsafe-B (abstract, political hip-hop) and, in collaboration with his daughter, The Strawberry Orcas.

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Track Name: Artifacts
The sudden impact of our kiss…
My lips and your lips tick…
A bomb which leaves a crater
where my mouth was just once
a gaping hole.

But we should’ve known by now
we’ve never shared a thing
and if we don’t slow this down
we’ll never change a thing.

If ever either of us came to rely
on what the other could not provide,
if ever we missed out on every last try
I apologize…

But we should’ve known by now
we’ve never shared a thing
and if we don’t slow this down
we’ll never change a thing.
There’s more to this than what we found,
textbook archaeology,
so don’t try to talk me down—
this ledge is just a wedding ring…

Your hair like fallen power lines
sparked on the open roads
of my body, my scars skid marks
where my past came to a halt…

And then I began again with you…

But we should’ve known by now
we’ve never shared a thing
and if we don’t slow this down
we’ll never change a thing.
There’s more to this than what we found,
textbook archaeology,
so don’t try to talk me down—
this ledge is just a wedding ring…

And then I began again without you…
Track Name: Wrecking Ball
Even if we could rebuild these walls
we’d still have to climb up risking the fall.
We never seemed to believe in doors which
opened and closed when we left it all behind.

This is everything left of what crumbed
after the wrecking ball hypnotized us
into thinking this was what we wanted
but when confronted we were crushed.

Piecing together all this debris,
it’s a puzzle to me, I just can’t figure out
where I fit in now that you’ve moved on
new shape under the sun’s bright blackout.

And if this is how we’re pictured in this frame
then I wonder why we don’t attempt escape.
This means much more than what’s at stake,
we still have so much left to break
and this could be our last mistake again…

Piecing together all this debris
it’s a puzzle to me, I just can’t figure out
where I fit in now that you’ve moved on,
new shape under the sun’s bright blackout…

Even though it left me tongue tied
your foot was in your mouth the whole time.
Every sentence you spoke was a shoelace
but I was the one running in place…

And if this is how we’re pictured in this frame
then I wonder why we don’t attempt escape.
This means much more than what’s at stake,
we still have so much left to break
and this could be our last mistake again…

Piecing together all this debris
it’s a puzzle to me, I just can’t figure out…
Track Name: I Tell Her
When it’s too dark to sleep
in this tiny room,
you are the sun thrown
like a baseball through
the asylum window.

Your voice is an ocean
caught in the seashell of my ear.
I record my dreams of you
as witnesses confessing on the stand.

And I keep the documents
tucked in my pillowcase.
They whisper, “I don’t hate you,
I don’t hate you so much…”

Your lips are the cover
of a diary I keep in mind.
Your kisses are cigarettes
put out on these lips of mine.

You keep lighting the same one
for hours and hours…
No wonder it’s so hard
to quit smoking…

A poem about you is a message
I leave on your machine;
there’s never enough time
to say what I mean…
There’s never enough time
to mean what I say…

Each stanza is a subtitle
describing each scene.
This page is our life as
a silent movie…
Track Name: To Say Something
Your voice separates
my flesh into climates.
I travel the world on
the tip of your finger.
You decide where and when
we go, I kiss you when we arrive.
I know living seems easy,
it’s hard enough just to survive.

And that’s why…

Like a poem, your name is only
an excuse to say something,
so I put my voice into a safe-deposit box
for your to open when you’re seventy
like a photo you took blindfolded,
where love is a parental advisory label
tiny in the corner of an album cover
whose lyrics we have yet to read,
where our frozen stare melts
into a wet glance.

But for now each kiss
is a cyanide capsule
I place under my tongue
since I’d rather die
than be without one.

Tight-roping this flat line,
don’t want to reach the other side.
I’ll arrest these alibis
to keep you in these arms of mine.

But for now each kiss
is a cyanide capsule
I place under my tongue
since I’d rather die
than be without one.

Like a poem, your name is only
an excuse to say something,
so I put my voice into a safe-deposit box
for your to open when you’re seventy
like a photo you took blindfolded,
where love is a parental advisory label
tiny in the corner of an album cover
whose lyrics we have yet to read,
where our frozen stare melts
into a wet glance.
Track Name: When You Want Me
You’d never listen to someone like me,
you’d never risk it with someone like me, so
you’d never kiss with anyone like me,
you’d never miss with anyone like me
but that’s where you want to be…

You’d never sleep with anyone like me,
you’d never keep with anyone like, so
you’d never click with anyone like me,
you’d never stick with anyone like me
but that’s where you ought to be…

I wake up every morning hoping I’ll find
an easy way to leave my dreams behind.
I leave the house only to stand in line
with all the other fools…

You’ve never hated anyone like me,
you’ve never dated anyone like me, so
you’d never bail out on someone like me,
you’ve never fail ‘cause you’d never try me
and that’s why you hide from me…

When I first saw you my heart was a drum.
I told my friends and they just thought me dumb
and all their criticism left me numb, now
I’m just stuck here in this conundrum
and that’s where I’m calling from…
but you’re throwing the tantrum…

I wake up every morning hoping I’ll find
an easy way to leave my dreams behind.
I leave the house only to stand in line
with all the other fools…

But that’s where I want to be,
that’s why I ought to be,
that’s where I’m going to be…
Track Name: Oh, Baby
Oh, baby, if you’d only take me home
tonight we could start right away,
‘cause oh, baby, it would only take me
a moment to give my heart away…

You take my breath every time I kiss you.
True love must live in the lungs
and my face is turning blue…

Still you inhale the darkness, never failing
the hardest clues in this mystery, then
I’ll fall asleep holding onto moments exploding
and I’ll wake up knowing you still love me…

Oh, baby, if you’d only take me home
tonight we could start right away,
‘cause oh, baby, it would only take me
a moment to give my heart away…

You make me feel like a star in the sky.
You reach out and catch me when I fall
and bring me back inside…

I’m elated we shared this, there’s nothing
that I cherish more than your company.
So I fall asleep holding onto moments exploding
and I wake up knowing you still love me…

Oh, baby, if you’d only take me home
tonight we could start right away,
‘cause oh, baby, it would only take me
a moment to give my heart away…
Track Name: Touching Windows
Whenever you run away,
it’s always too fast to catch you.
So now you’re just a memory
etched in too deep, I can’t erase you.
And that’s where I hide away,
‘cause here I’d only replace you
as if you were prosthetic,
and I could only reattach you.
But I’m not that prophetic,
my answer would be only to ask you.
And I wish I could find a way,
‘cause here I can’t even face you…

There’s never an easy way to forget
those times that we shared.
I’m left alone to feel happy for you and
I’ve never felt so scared…

Even when I’m alone you’re with me.
The thought of you’s an epiphany…
It’s like touching windows I can’t see…
This message is a ship lost at sea,
and there’s no chance of it returning—
I’m touching windows which I can’t see…

There’s never an easy way to forget
those times that we shared.
I’m left alone to feel happy for you and
I’ve never felt so scared…

I’m fading into transparency—
pay no attention bump into me…
It’s like touching windows you can’t see.
You’re the bird, this house is my body.
Your wings span in an emergency.
Your sharp beak’s kiss performs surgery
while touching windows you can’t see…

Now we’re both touching windows
we can’t see…
Track Name: The Way
You say you love me but
I just don’t know it’s true.
You tell me only things
you know I want to hear from you.
Just when I open up,
you close the door on me.
Only when I face you
do you want to stand behind me.
A knock slept on my knuckles—
I woke it on your door,
and when you opened up, I said:

“The way I love you tells me
that I am the one,
and with that knowledge
I see that I can go on.
But if all I can offer
is words to a song,
then all our fighting means
that this war can’t be won…”

If you ask me for directions,
wondering which way to go,
I’d only point you away from me—
I’m just a scarecrow…

“The way I love you tells me
that I am the one,
and with that knowledge
I see that I can go on.
But if all I can offer
is words to a song,
then all our fighting means
that this war can’t be won…”
Track Name: Against the Wall
What does it take to walk across the water?
There’s no turning back.
Sink or swim’s the only choice that matters—
your body’s your life raft…
So hold on, don’t let go,
the waves aren’t as high as they seem.
Take a breath, don’t look down,
your reflection is all you’ll see…

Back against the wall as if you’re lying down,
take a step and see you’re standing on the ground.
Walking through the wreckage of your last mistake,
there’s nothing left to break…

What does it take to run into the fire,
to escape before the building’s collapse?
Just hold on, don’t look down,
the horizon’s not the edge…

Back against the wall as if you’re lying down,
take a step and see you’re standing on the ground.
Walking through the wreckage of your last mistake,
there’s nothing left to break…